Come salvare Terminator? Eccovi le risposte di Joss Whedon, il papà di Buffy.


Giusto ieri vi avevamo informato che la proprietà intellettuale relativa a Terminator è in vendita.

Joss Whedon, il papà di Buffy l'ammazzavampiri, in una lettera aperta riportata su Deadlinehollywood indirizzata agli attuai titolari del franchise, ci fa sapere la sua.

Eccovi il testo della missiva:

"An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul Dear Sirs/Ma'ams, I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands. No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise: 1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise). 2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies. 3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea. 4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.) 5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs! 6) The movies will stop getting less cool. Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer). Sincerely, Joss Whedon."

L'ironia della proposta è palpabile.
Dai 10.000 dollari offerti per  acquistare il brand, alle strampalate idee per rinvigorire la saga, come far viaggiare nel tempo i cyborg fino a farli arrivare nella Terra di Mezzo o quella di far si che ci siano più scene con Summer Glau, la co-protagonista de Le Cronache di Sarah Connors (come dargli torto?) perché d'altronde "sono film estivi" (il gioco di parole è fra il nome dell'attrice con la quale ha già lavorato in Seneity, Summer, e il fatto che tali blockbuster vengano appunto rilasciati in quella parte dell'anno), passando per le pastiglie per la gola da fornire al rauco Christian Bale e l'intramontabile "più porno!".

Anche per uno specialista in sci-fi come Whedon ormai, la saga ha detto tutto quello che c'era da dire.

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Come salvare Terminator? Eccovi le risposte di Joss Whedon, il papà di Buffy.